Why is Reva telling Jeffery she is "terrified" to have a baby? She should be TEACHING that birthing class. She has 4 babies! Why is she terrified?
Don't you get "used" to the idea after 3 or 4 babies? I can understand being scared if you are a first time mom...
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Reva on Friday
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 ElizabethF |
Reva on Friday |
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Posts: 17879 (02/07/09 19:31:51) Board Administrator |
Elizabeth |
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malar2002 |
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Posts: 7167 (02/07/09 19:48:45) |
It may have been said just for dramatic effect - or may be she was trying to make Jeffrey comfortable by expressing feeling things that he was feeling also.
However ... I will ask my mom; she gave birth three times, and one of those births was of twins. I will ask her if she was less afraid by the third delivery. I am not sure, I think that the fear for the well-being of the child, since mammalian birth is so complicated, will probably get stronger every time since the more children one has, the more one may fear for the well-being of the neonate. Whatever it was, KZ made it sound genuine.
Malar
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Beca Drags |
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Posts: 441 (02/07/09 20:09:01) |
I think Reva was expressing some natural fears, because she hasn't had a child in 20 some years, and because this time, there are so many more challenges and fears she is facing, because of her age and the cancer and risks to the child. I  Beca |
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malar2002 |
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Posts: 7170 (02/07/09 20:10:06) |
That makes perfect sense.
Malar
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suburbandiva50 |
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Posts: 425 (02/07/09 21:45:56) |
Sorry, this makes NO sense at all for a women of Reva's age, having given birth to 4 now grown kids???! Come,on, I agree this women should giving the
class!!! Having a baby sometimes can be like "riding a bike!" the births may differ, but the one thing one still should remember is to PUSH! If she
was that terrified??? Then why do it?? Also, I think that Reva made a remark to Jeffery about how old she is?? (I think) but all of these things should have
been talked about, BEFORE the labor!!! I can understand why Jeffery is nervous, but Reva ? No way!!!!
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Lighthouse |
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Posts: 2439 (02/08/09 07:40:03) |
Since I read the other day that Kim had a birthday and is now 54, this whole birth thing is more unbelieveable than ever. If she was really having a baby at
that age and in her condition, I doubt any doctor would have her go through a delivery. I would think she would have it ceasarian section. How can she be
having chemo and be so chipper anyway?
Loretta |
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ElizabethF |
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Posts: 17885 (02/08/09 08:37:05) Board Administrator |
How can she be having chemo and be so chipper anyway?Well, It IS Reva, LOL! She is a Firecracker! I totally see your point, however. I would expect her to look at least a bit tired and to comment on her side effects a bit more. I have had several friends go through it and the thing I notice the most with them is that they are so focused on it while going through it that they talk about it a LOT. They talk about their meds and the side effects of it a LOT. So I would expect to hear a lot more of that from her. I think that is part of it, you have to focus on it to fight it. It is such a hard thing to go through it is part of dealing with it. Elizabeth |
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Beca Drags |
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Posts: 442 (02/08/09 08:40:01) |
So Reva doesn't have cause to be terrified? Her age that poses more risks now........going through cancer...........not having a child in 20 some
years...........risks to the baby? I certainly, most definitely think she has every reason to be terrified.
Beca |
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jeva4ever |
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Posts: 239 (02/08/09 10:35:35) |
There are so many things that can go wrong during a pregnancy/birth, even with the most healthiest woman. I can only imagine how terrified Reva must be given
her age, the cancer, all the risks she is facing, not knowing if she or the baby will survive.
Leigh-Ann
"All good things must come to an end, but I'm sort of hoping that Jeffrey and Reva endure." -Bradley Cole |
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suburbandiva50 |
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Posts: 426 (02/08/09 11:47:30) |
reva made a choice! She was told the postieves and negatives, Jeffery and Reva made the call. The call was we will go threw this "together" so with
cancer, menopause, Reva should have thought about what this ment. No, excuse! Shut your mouth, and do the do. I will say it again, with four grown kids Reva
knows what to expect with child bearing. . . its no walk in the park but it can be done.
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Beca Drags |
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Posts: 443 (02/08/09 16:28:06) |
Well, Reva is human. Just cause she made the choice to go through with this, doesn't mean she can't or shouldn't be scared or worried, considering
all the extra challenges she's facing with this pregnancy. Reva wasn't saying she wanted to change or mind or was showing signs of second thoughts,
just that she is naturally scared. I just think it's perfectly normal and natural for her to be scared. She's just expressing natural fearful
feelings, that any woman in her situation would be feeling.
Beca
Last Edited By: Beca Drags
02/08/09 16:30:10.
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Tania in Pennsylvania |
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Posts: 922 (02/08/09 18:15:08) |
I have to say I was terrified with each of my pregnancies...
The first b/c it was my first one... I was just 20 when I delivered her, at thirty-six weeks, by emergency C-Section, and most of you know my story, after an accident we were involved in, she passed away and I nearly bled to death, not even regaining consciousness until two day after she was gone. I had no idea what was happening, or that she had been born, or had died. I was however able to hold her, something I will never ever forget, and that I thank God for b/c though she was gone, it was good for us to hold her. The other four, (I had five pregnancies in all)... were all C-sections and I think the first just scared the absolute death out of me. Numbers two, three, and five were difficult but fairly uneventful, then with number four the spinal went too high, my blood pressure bottomed out, I passed out and they managed to revive me. My son however inhaled a large amount of fluid and was born purple... he spent four hours in the NIC-U and I thought it was gonna happen again, and this time I would watch. I just remember asking in the delivery room... why can't I hear him... why isn't he crying as my husband tried to remain clam. My son was fine in the end. I guess my experience is unique, but I can see from my experiences, though I tried to stay positve each time, that any preganacy, or delivery can change in an instant. Some go smooth, some go skin of your teeth, and by the grace of God, and some end tragically. So I'm ok with her being nervous...even if it is only "soap nervous". Tania in Pennsylvania
"Seduce my mind and you can have my body. Find my soul and I'm yours forever..."
Last Edited By: Tania in Pennsylvania
02/08/09 18:20:11.
Edited 4 times.
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Bayley Rose |
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Posts: 743 (02/08/09 18:27:34) |
Elizabeth, I don't mean to be argumentative,but there are some people who don't talk about their chemo
experiences. My sister is having chemo for colon cancer. She refuses to , as she put it, "let it be the center of her universe." She's focused
on getting through the treatments in the hopes of getting rid of the cancer. But, she doesn't talk about it and has asked the rest of her family to not
focus on it. We let her talk when she wants to, but we don't force the issue.
I agree that Reva is a bit cheery for someone undergoing cancer treatments. But, I also think it can be believable. 
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ElizabethF |
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Posts: 17889 (02/08/09 22:35:00) Board Administrator |
You guys aren't getting my point. A woman who has had 4 babies does not need a Lamaze class to keep her from being terrified. And yes, I stand behind
saying she should be teaching that class. She probably has taken it several times.
Of course, every woman worries about complications, etc. that come with age, but this is not something you learn from Lamaze class. If you have had 4 babies, you probably know it already. This is what my point is. She could probably write her own pregnancy book. Bayley, I stand corrected as to how much Reva is talking about her side effects. It was just my experience with several people, and certainly not enough "data points" to make a trend! Well, Reva is human I'm not so sure about that! I think Reva is superhuman! She certainly has superhuman powers! I think that when you have a death on your first pregnancy, it pretty much ruins your subsequent pregnancies. You will always be terrified that something will happen. At least that is what happened to us as well, Tania. I was always jealous of the ones who could relax and enjoy their pregnancies and not be hysterical all the time that something was wrong. Oh well, it is what it is. At least we have babies now! 
Elizabeth
Last Edited By: ElizabethF
02/08/09 22:39:17.
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Soapyscraps |
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Posts: 4022 (02/09/09 06:29:45) |
You guys know that I'm not a fan of Reva. I do, however, understand if she is terrified (even though I want to be snide about her! lol). I was pregnant
several times, only had two births. Each time I was pregnant, whether it was at the beginning or in the delivery room, I was terrified. I think it's human
nature. Yes, she made the decision to go thru with this pregnancy (which I was shocked by and proud of her for), but that doesn't mean you are any less
worried about your child. You mom's know what its like to worry about your kids, so many things can go wrong. We almost lost Noah when he was born and I
was thankful that I had had a tubal so I didn't have to go thru that hell again (after I thanked God a million times that He let me keep Noah!). Even
though she brought all this on herself, even though she seems to be superhuman, even though she's had four other kids.......I think she (and every other
mom whether first time or 20th time) has a right to be terrified of what is to come. Life is not always fair, there is not always happy endings at the end of
the 9 months--or even three--and *I* feel that it's just in a Mother's make up to be scared.
 
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Beca Drags |
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Posts: 444 (02/09/09 07:36:17) |
Elizabeth, I don't see or think it strange that Reva is taking Lamaze class. As we've said, it's been 20 some years since she had a child, never
hurts to have a refresher course, and she also wants to take the approach of this as her first child, with a husband that has never gone through this. She
wants to see this part through his eyes too. Reva made it clear, she wanted to start from scratch with this child, and I think she meant starting with taking
some Lamaze classes.
Guess we just see this differently, but it's cool, that's what these boards are about, differing viewpoints, and hope you don't mind my conflicting opinion. Beca
Last Edited By: Beca Drags
02/09/09 08:02:33.
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suburbandiva50 |
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Posts: 427 (02/09/09 10:15:48) |
I agree with Elizabeth, you are talking about a women who has given birth to 4 grown kids. You mean to tell me, Reva doesn't know what to expect? No
matter if you had two or twenty kids there are some things a women should know! I can understand being nervous, hoping that everything will be alright. But,
taking a class when you have had four kids already? A refresher course for pushing and breathing? Yes, not only should Reva be able to teach the class, she
should be able to teach marriage & divorcee! She has done it all!
Last Edited By: ElizabethF
02/09/09 14:19:30.
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ImShellyC |
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Posts: 7903 (02/09/09 13:31:21) |
I think we all need to take a Lamaze breath ourselves here and calm down a little.
We all know that Reva has done it all including be a princess and be Amish. 
I don't see a reason why she should need to do a Lamaze class either. Did she ever do one before? I don't remember that far back. If not maybe she feels the breathing exercises will help her be calm. Perhaps she just wants to go through the experience with Jeffrey since he hasn't done this before. I'm sure the illness as well as her age this time around would make her be apprehensive. I think this is one of those agree to disagree topics. 
In Support of Our Guy
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jeva4ever |
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Posts: 240 (02/09/09 13:57:01) |
suburbandiva50 wrote:For what it's worth, my cousin has two children, three years apart. She took the Lamaze classes each time simply because she wanted to, and her doctor thought it would be a smart idea.
Leigh-Ann
"All good things must come to an end, but I'm sort of hoping that Jeffrey and Reva endure." -Bradley Cole
Last Edited By: ElizabethF
02/09/09 14:19:51.
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wickiet |
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Posts: 528 (02/09/09 14:08:58) |
I had 4 kids, and it scared the crap outta me every time.
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Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand. |
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ElizabethF |
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Posts: 17891 (02/09/09 14:22:24) Board Administrator |
DUDE! There is nothing you could do to make me take that class again! Even if I were pregnant! The funny breathing they teach you is so you will focus on it
and not he pain, it turns out that some nurses/doctors don't like you to use it. My nurse told me that deep breathing is better. I actually liked the deep
breathing a lot better than the weird Lamaze breathing.
I agree, maybe she is doing this for Jeffery. Funny that he passed out. Special agent. Humph! Elizabeth |
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- Guiding Light Discussion
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